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I guess it’s hard to say to somebody, “I have a great girl for you, but she’s fat—are you okay with that? People are image-conscious, and it takes a very secure man to advertise his preference for a woman of size.No matter how many magazines start featuring plus-size women, in mainstream white culture, a woman who’s heavy isn’t considered as attractive as a woman who’s not.And I’ve been contacted by men on BBW sites who ask me if I’m open to a feeding relationship, which I’m not.It means they want to be with somebody who likes to eat, who they can feed and would consider gaining a lot of weight. But I think there’s a fine line between someone who’s a fetishist and someone who’s not.

A man approached me on the subway when I was 24 and wanted my phone number desperately. I was once fooling around with someone I’d been out with a few times.Now I know that the skinny white girl is not the ideal to everyone.There are cultures and races that prefer plus-size women.Ultimately everybody’s looking to get to the next level, and for many men in New York, a larger woman is the bottom level, regardless of what she’s like.There’s a misconception that plus-size girls are insecure in their bodies.

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